(I'm sitting in a chair with a blowup sex doll in my lap facing me; I'm bouncing her)
when I was young –
hup!
I won't say how young, because it probably wasn't young enough –
my little sister and I used to play this game.
hup! hup!
she would sit on my lap
facing me
and I would bounce her up and down.
hup! hup! hup!
my little sister was 4 years younger than me,
hup! hup! hup! hup!
and maybe she was a little too old for such games,
hup! hup! hup!
hup! hup! hup!
but she was autistic.
she had something called asperger's syndrome.
which isn't an excuse for our activity.
but it is, kind of.
hup!
I was the only one who could really draw her out after our father ran away;
hup! hup!
I felt it was the least I could do for her.
hup! hup! hup!
at first, she called the game horsey.
but then I started calling it unicorn,
and she did too.
hup! hup! hup!
hup! hup! hup!
hup! hup! hup! hup! hup! hup!
it was magical.
oh! oh! oh!
(sex doll floats away)
(still sitting, untying my shoes and taking them off)
I saw a naked woman once.
she was in her house, I was walking down the street.
she flipped the light on in her laundry room;
(taking off my socks)
her nipples were huge, her breasts were pendulous, her pubic hair was wild and flowing.
(taking off my pants; I am in women's panties; I sit back down)
she slid on a pair of panties and I stood in her driveway watching her pubic hair disappear into them;
(unbuttoning my shirt and taking it off; I am wearing a dingy old t-shirt)
she slid an old white t-shirt over her head and I stood in her yard and said goodbye to her breasts.
but her nipples were hard and one of them caught in a hole in the old white t-shirt.
(I stick a finger in a hole in the shirt and tear it down a little to reveal a nipple)
I was right up to her laundry window now, my hand down the front of my pants.
she turned off the light and I dove into the bush.
(folding the pants and placing them on the floor beside the chair)
I unzipped myself and left something in her bush.
(folding the shirt and placing it on top of the pants)
(I stand and walk around in the panties and t-shirt; they are both dingy and stained)
the next time I was home alone I stole a pair of panties out of my mother's top dresser drawer.
(standing now at a table with a loaf of bread, a jar of mayonnaise and a butter knife)
(I spread mayonnaise on two slices of bread, thick)
I took them to my room, locked the door, took off everything but my t-shirt.
(I press the bread into a sandwich, take two sensual bites from opposite corners)
I put on the panties and pretended I was the woman down the street.
(I peel the two pieces of bread apart, slap one onto the front of the panties)
I made a mess in my mother's panties.
(I stand there eating the second piece of bread until the first piece falls off of the panties to the floor into a pan of “pubic hair”; I pick up the bread, fold it in half to create a “vagina” visual, then shove the piece of bread inside the panties)
I hid them under my mattress and utilized them daily,
sometimes several times a day,
and then they disappeared.
(putting on shirt)
I searched everywhere for them, under the bed, all over my bedroom.
(putting on pants)
I even lifted the mattress completely off the box springs.
(putting on socks and shoes, bending over so that the mayonnaise darkens the front of pants)
there was a dark stain on the mattress and box springs,
but no panties.
(I stand up to reveal the stained pants)
the next day my mother called me into her room,
she had a shopping bag from palais-royale.
(pick up shopping bag)
one at a time she showed me three pairs of beautiful new panties she had bought for herself.
(reveal a pair of edible panties)
she said “do you like these?”
(drop the panties; reveal a gargantuan lifelike dildo)
“do you think these are pretty?”
(drop the dildo; reveal a stuffed unicorn toy)
“do you think these are…sexy?”
I squirmed and sweated but didn't say a word.
(I drop the unicorn; reveal “shit-covered” panties; toss away shopping bag)
then she brought out the panties I had stolen from her;
they were stained and misshapen.
(turning panties round and around)
she said she thought it was “sweet” that I liked to wear her panties,
but she thought it was “rude” that I went through her things.
(bury my face in panties, smearing “shit” on face, sobbing, then look up)
I cried. more out of embarrassment than anything else.
she hugged me, told me she “understood.”
(I toss away dirty panties)
but she didn't understand.
how could she have “understood?”
I wasn't thinking about her when I messed up her panties;
I was thinking about the lady down the street.
(blow-up doll returns from above wearing edible panties and t-shirt and holding a stuffed unicorn toy)
(I take the doll to the floor horizontal and hump it)
and I wasn’t thinking about my little sister when she was bouncing on my lap,
turning me into a unicorn;
(pause for a moment)
I was thinking about the magic inside of me.
(I simulate sex for too long with the blow-up doll, eat the panties, enter her with the dildo, etc.)
(simulated orgasm)
oh! oh! oooh!
(cleaning up stage)
I stopped masturbating.
I stashed the ruined panties I had stolen from my mother deep in a full garbage bag on trash day and put it out on the street,
and swore it off for a while.
(sitting in chair, hand down the front of my pants)
then I had a dream about my mother
and my sister
and me.
they both had bodies like the lady down the street.
but their own heads.
they were taking turns putting on panties and t-shirts and bouncing on my lap.
hup! hup! hup!
my little sister giggled.
my mother kept telling me how “sweet” I was.
(bring hand out of pants and fling mayonnaise sandwich bits)
then I ejaculated all over both of them.
my sister cried frantically and my mother told me I was “rude.”
(licking fingers; slow fade to black)