~interstitial four. family~

“part one: june bug”

(dark stage.)

if you were blind, what do you think i would look like?

what would my voice tell you about me?

he’s a man. he was born in the south, texas. a big city. he worked hard to get rid of that drawl.

learned how to put the “g” back into words like “somethin’” and “fixin’,” as in “fixin’ to.”

he doesn’t “fix to” do things, he just does them.

(pause)

if you were deaf, what would i sound like?

(long silence. long enough to make the audience uncomfortable.)

3 years later, another child is born.

(low lights come up on audience. stage remains dark.)

look to your left.

look to your right.

who is that sitting next to you?

is she blind?

is she deaf?

or is she just silent?

mute. dumb to everything that’s going on around her.

(pause)

she’s an angel.

such a peaceful baby.

sweet. far-off. numb.

(pause)

beware of the baby conceived to form a more perfect union.

will she save a troubled marriage? or will she just add to the troubles?

(audience lights down as a bright spotlight illuminates august chagrin center stage in a 3-piece white suit, a bowl of “june bugs” in his arms.)

my sister was born on the first day of june.

my mother called her june because she’s an artist and can’t think creatively except with paints.

my father called her june bug, because he is simple.

my sister had a habit of eating june bugs. she ate them like they were popcorn.

(he pops a “june bug” into his mouth and chews.)

the perfect snack, crunchy on the outside, juicy and tender insides.

(he swallows.)

plentiful. expendable, really.

(he eats another “bug,” slowly.)

my sister had a problem. but it didn’t have anything to do with june bugs.

she had problems with learning and social development.

her mother tried to ignore it as artistic egocentricity .

her father tried to figure out a way to “fix” her.

(he eats another “bug,” and another.)

beware of the man who believes his hands are an extension of god’s.

(he eats another.)

who believes his hands can heal a broken child.

who reverts to the prayers of his father—

(he puts a “bug” in his mouth, starts chewing.)

—and of his mother—

(he puts another “bug” in his mouth.)

—and of his brothers—

(and another)

—and of all the disciples of the family of christ.

(he puts several more “bugs” into his mouth and speaks around them as he chews. juice runs down his chin and onto his suit.)

take, eat. this is my body.

(he puts more “bugs” into his mouth until he is overflowing with “june bugs.”)

(a rooster crows.)

before the rooster crows 3 times, you will deny me.

(the rooster crows again.)

(black out.)

(the rooster crows a third time.)

– short intermission –



“part two: father figure”

(august chagrin center stage in a 2-piece suit under a spotlight.)

my father is the son of god.

—well, my father believes he is the son of god.

he was born in a little gray shack on the arksansas mountainside.

his mother emma was soft, gentle, and quiet.

his father micah was hard, rough, and loud!

sunday was the lord’s day, and all of the disciples of christ would empty out of their shacks and make their ways to the valley where they lifted up their hands, and their tongues were endowed with the unknown tongues of the holy spirit.

they memorized bible scriptures and learned the secrets of healing through prayer, healing by the laying on of hands.

(august chagrin lifts his hands and arms into the air, mumbles nonsensical words. a snare drum offstage plays along. after a while, the drumming stops and august chagrin stops.)

but i know no bible scriptures.

i have nothing to offer the son of god.

i have nothing to offer the baby jesus.

(pause)

(august chagrin falls piously to his knees, hands clasped before him. he “prays” silently for a moment.)

(pause)

(august chagrin opens his eyes, suddenly inspired. he stands.)

here, jesus, i’ll give you my jacket.

(he takes off his jacket and offers it.)

—and my shirt, the shirt off my back.

(he takes off his shirt and offers it.)

and here, jesus, i give you my undershirt.

(he offers his undershirt.)

my left shoe, jesus, i offer you this.

(he does.)

and my right shoe.

(he takes off his right shoe and offers it.)

my socks are clean, sweet jesus, i put them on just before i came out here.

(he sits in the spotlight, removes his socks and offers them one at a time.)

take my socks, please!

(he stands.)

but seriously, jesus.

seriously. take my pants.

(he unbuckles his belt, unfastens his pants, removes them and offers them.)

(he looks down at his underwear, then up into the spotlight.)

calvin klein boxer briefs, jesus! the latest fashion!

(he removes his underwear and stands naked in the spotlight, hands over his private parts for a while.)

i have given you everything, jesus.

do you love me now?

(pause)

(he slowly removes his hands and looks down at his penis.)

of course!

(he looks up.)

i have not offered you everything.

the one thing i have and you do not have.

my foreskin.

take, eat. this is my flesh.

(august chagrin pulls at the tip of his penis, at the “foreskin,” extending it. it extends easily, falls continuously to the stage.)

(a drummer boy – a young male cadet in costume – enters the darkness upstage playing rolls on the snare drum hanging over his shoulder. a dim light comes up on him as he sings.)

drummer boy sings:

little baby, pa rum pa pum pum,

i am a poor boy, too, pa rum pa pum pum,

i have no give to bring, pa rum pa pum pum,

that’s fit to give a king, pa rum pa pum pum,

rum pa pum pum, rum pa pum pum.

(august chagrin continues extending the “foreskin,” filling up the spotlight in which he stands.)

shall i play for you, pa rum pa pum pum,

on my drum?

august chagrin sings:

august nodded, pa rum pa pum pum,

play your drum...

(the drummer boy plays a percussive outro, 4 to 8 measures long.)

(the stage fades to black a couple of measures before the end.)

– short intermission –



“part three: family affair”

(large rubber canvas center stage with a photo-realist painting of a larger-than-life vagina, swollen with labor, ready to give birth. the canvas has a small, unseen hole at the center.)

(a young girl in a catholic school costume steps into a spotlight downstage and recites from a book.)

schoolgirl: “the moment a child is born, the mother is also born. she never existed before. the woman existed, but the mother, never. a mother is something absolutely new.” acharya bhagwan

(august chagrin presses the crown of his freshly shaved head to the hole in the rubber canvas and pushes outward. with some difficulty, his head emerges fully.)

august chagrin: if i knew then what i know now, would i have even bothered?

(he struggles a bit more, gets an arm out.)

do all babies have to go through this? did jesus? did the mother of god have an easy delivery?

(he struggles and gets the other arm out.)

why does she hold on so tight? what is she trying to prove? what does she want from me?

(he wriggles a bit more to get himself out of the hole to the waist.)

—everything. the answer is everything. she wants everything.

she wants my childhood, my artistic endeavors.

“i am your mother. i carried you for 9 months. you owe me.”

(he struggles a while, but makes no progress. his naked body is slathered in black cherry preserves. he plucks a cherry off of his torso and eats it.)

she chewed my father up and spit him out.

(he struggles, makes no progress.)

she took my sister’s soul. she would have taken mine, but i was onto her!

(he eats another cherry.)

so instead, she took my lover, stole him right out of my arms.

that’s okay. he wasn’t much of a lover anyway.

(suddenly, august chagrin plops fully out of the “vagina” to the stage. he trembles like a newborn calf, his legs wobbling as he makes his way to standing. an “umbilical cord” is attached to his penis. it grows in diameter and curls around his body and eventually disappears into the “vagina.”)

for a while, my mother was a follower of indian mystic acharya bhagwan.

schoolgirl: number 1. never obey anyone’s command unless it is coming from within you also.

august chagrin: my mother was angry after my father left to join a religious cult, so she joined one of her own. she decided to follow acharya bhagwan because his 10 commandments were radically different from the ones she was spoon fed in catholic school.

schoolgirl: number 2. there is no god other than life itself.

(with each of the commandments, the “umbilical cord” is slowly pulled back into the “vagina.”)

august chagrin: acharya bhagwan was born osho shree rajneesh in a city known as the “heart of india” on december 25th, 1936. he went by the name shree-raj in the 60s, and then acharya bhagwan after that.

schoolgirl: number 3. truth is within you, do not search for it elsewhere.

august chagrin: acharya bhagwan taught the importance of meditation, awareness, love, celebration, creativity and humor.

schoolgirl: number 4. love is prayer.

august chagrin: he came to be known as the sex guru because he advocated a more open attitude towards sexuality, including bisexuality.

schoolgirl: number 5. to become a nothingness is the door to truth. nothingness itself is the goal and the attainment.

august chagrin: he also believed in lamborghinis, which he collected by the dozens while many of his followers were barely making ends meet.

(the “umbilical cord” is lifting up from the stage now; august chagrin steps closer to the “vagina.”)

schoolgirl: number 6. life is now and here.

august chagrin: my mother planned a pilgrimage to visit acharya bhagwan in his intentional community in Washington state.

schoolgirl: number 7. live wakefully.

august chagrin: but unfortunately, in 1988, acharya bhagwan was arrested and deported bioterror crimes.

schoolgirl: number 8. do not swim—float.

august chagrin: after that, my mother went back to her previous non-religious stance.

(the “umbilical cord” is taut and august chagrin cannot face forward any longer as it is being drawn into the “vagina.”)

schoolgirl: number 9. die each moment so that you can be new each moment.

august chagrin: but she certainly maintained her views on sexual freedom and promiscuity. she could never bring herself to practice bisexuality, but she found herself drawn to bisexual men.

schoolgirl: number 10. do not search. that which is, is. stop and see.

august chagrin: how many times must one be born again?

– black out –